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I am not going to waste time throughout the rest of the text saying things like “In my opinion…” and instead just trust you to know that you are reading the world according to Cross and that you will go out into the web and find people who disagree with me so you can figure it out for yourself.įor many people, exploring their sexuality and delving into power exchange can be very therapeutic. Learning is a lifetime journey and there is always a new idea or a new perspective to consider. I know people who have been teaching for decades and still attend classes regularly. Any time that you attend a class or read a book, you are hearing just one idea, just one version of reality. I want to point out the first section up above (labeled “The World Acording to Cross”). Most people do this somewhat sub-consciously, so the idea here is to bring that out of the fog and help you to start doing it on purpose. A simple sigh or facial expression, depending on perception, can alter your partner’s behavior, even in vanilla relationships. That having been said, we train the people around us every day in subtle ways.
Because meddling with a person’s personality is possibly the most extreme form power exchange, and in ethical BDSM we alwaysget consent first. To that end, this is one of those areas that you really must negotiate and have explicit consent from your partners. This resource will largely consist of me taking my knowledge of psychology and learning theory and applying it to the context of kink and D/s relationships. Using these tools effectively, you can fully change the way that a person acts, and not just when they are with you, but 24 hours a day. It’s about what you can do to encourage the behaviors you want, and discourage those that you don’t.
Punishment for masochists is it’s own complicated subject for another time.
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This will not cover the top ten ways to punish a sub, or how to get around the masochism loophole. This resource is part human psychology and personal study to help you understand some of the forces that are at work every day in your lives and the ways that you are training the people you spend time with, whether you know it or not, so that you can start to make those decisions in a conscious manner and start getting the results you want. I have spent a lot of years on the academic side of brain study. Cross is not an “expert” of any kind related to this practice and does not guarantee any particular result from its use. The ideas, theories, and crazy schemes presented herein are the sole perspective and opinion of the presenter, who encourages attendees and readers to seek out other perspectives and ideas, especially those that disagree with him, before deciding on a path for themselves. Submissive Training, Conditioning, and Developmentīy this is a subject that interests you, these are some books that might be helpful additions:ĭIRECT LINKS TO PURCHASE ALL OF THESE BOOKS ABOVE AND OTHERS ARE AVAILABLE FROM THE BOOKSHELF PAGE For details, use the contact page or send an email to This article is linked as a reference from The subject below is also offered by XCBDSM educators as a stand-alone class or as part of the Dominants Intensive Weekend. For information on offered classes, check the education tab above. If you think we should make that book and would be interested in having a copy, please let us know here: XCBDSM Book Interest Form
This article is based on our live workshop and is just one section from a larger handout that we are thinking of making into a book. The XCBDSM crew travels the country doing live demos, presentations, and hands on workshops.
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Would you be interested in attending a live workshop presented by the XCBDSM crew on this or other kink related topics? If so, tell us your zip code and we will send you a message if we are visiting your area.
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Respected columnist and scene leader Rinella has carefully explored how BDSM relationships fit into real people's lives.įrom that research, and his own two decades as an active leatherman, he has assembled this sensible, readable manual about how kinky relationships really work. Replete with updated resources and references, Erotic Slavehood will take its place among the basic BDSM reference manuals. That’s what a great book like this should do.Ĭombines Miss Abernathy’s Concise Slave Training Manual and Training With Miss Abernathy in one deluxe volume. I have spent the last two days lost in thought, re-evaluating a lot of my own choices and beliefs. This book changed the way that I think about relationships. This book did so much more just add words to my existing knowledge and experience, as I had expected.
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Below are a couple books that I have found useful and interesting.įor a full list of recommended reading, visit my Bookshelf Page.Ĭlicking on the images will take you to the Amazon product page.